Girl Friend
by iluv2eatcarbs
Summary: I'm in love with my best friend. Now get your head out of the gutter, it's not James, Remus or Peter. They are my guy friends. No, I'm in love with my girl-friend.
1. Chapter 1

I'm in love with my best friend.

Now get your head out of the gutter, it's not James, Remus or Peter. They are my guy friends.

No, I'm in love with my girl friend. Not my girlfriend, but girl-friend. The hyphenation, though a simple grammar use, is the one thing stopping Lenalia Archer from being my girlfriend instead of a girl, hyphenated, friend.

We've been friends since our second year. I was trolling the fields looking for someone to prank when I heard grunting from around the corner castle. I slowly made my way over the noise, hoping it was a Slytherin to hex. Instead I saw a girl in my grade that I'd seen around the castle. She was small with blonde hair and an intense look on her face. In one hand she held a bat and in the other she held a bludger. She threw the bludger up and hit it with her bat against the castle. I watched her do this for a few minutes, the same thing over and over. She would throw the bludger up and then she would hit it, I noticed with great strength. She was small but powerful. After one particularly good hit she had, which involved her diving to the ground in order to hit the bludger I decided to interrupt her game.

"You're pretty good," I commented.

She'd turned around startled and a little embarrassed by the fact that I had been watching her. She pushed her hair out of her eyes as she looked at me. "What are you doing?" Her voice sounded like a breathy whisper. She was trying to sound tough and stand strong but she was so small it was a hard task for her to accomplish. I couldn't help but smile.

"Why are you smiling? You're weird."

"How am I the weird one? You're the one beating the bludger to smithereens against the castle wall."

"I'm practicing for the quidditch team. I plan on trying out next year," she puffed out her chest proudly, clearly she already had it set in her mind that she was going to make the team. "I was going to try out this year but the beaters slots are already full, next year both of the players will be graduating so there will be two open spots."

"I hope you make the team."

"Thanks," she said, lowering her eyes to the ground and scuffing at the ground with her feet. "Do you play?"

"No, not really, that's more of James's thing."

"So because one of your friends play you can't?" She said with a teasing grin as she dangled the bat in front of her.

"No, it's just his thing, not mine."

"Well you should try it some time."

"You should teach me."

She stopped and looked at me to see if I was joking or not. Her blue eyes searched mine before she broke out into a grin and threw me the bat. My coordination wasn't very good and instead of catching the bat it hit me in the head. Lenalia started laughing and I was embarrassed, not wanting to be embarrassed I picked up the bat and grabbed the bludger from her hand.

After that day Lenalia and I met after classes and would practice together. Encouraging each other and helping one another. Quickly a friendship formed and we started hanging outside of practicing. The rest of my friends immediately liked her. She had a quick wit and was sarcastic, but a fiery temper. She fit in perfectly and participated in some of our pranks, even providing us with ideas. Third year we both made the quidditch team as beaters. Throughout the years we've been there for each other. Through puberty, heartbreak, quidditch loses, everything. Besides James she was my best friend, one of the few people I could trust.

And up until yesterday I never thought of her as anything more than a friend. It started out as any other time spent with Lenalia. We were sitting on the couch in the common room trying to develop new plays. I could tell something was off, she had been fidgeting the whole time and couldn't keep still for more than a few seconds. After she had chewed her nails down to the bone I decided to finally say something.

"Lia is something wrong?"

She looked shocked and stared at me with wide eyes. "No, why would you say that?"

"You haven't been able to stop twitching, I'm afraid you're going to start seizing."

She playfully slapped me with the back of her hand. "Well, I do have something to tell you but I'm not sure how you're going to take it and I'm afraid you're going to go crazy on me. I don't want this to be like last time when you saw Peter Willings staring at me and you freaked out on him and he hasn't talked to me since. And to be quite honest most guys haven't talked to me since then, they're too afraid of you. You're like a dad in that respect but not really my dad as you weren't the one who created me."

"Lia," I said interrupting her. Whenever she had something important to say she would start rambling and not make any sense, talking in circles. "Just tell me what it is."

"I have a boyfriend." She finally spit out. The words were strewn together so it didn't sound like a sentence at all, rather just a long word.

"Oh," was all I was able to get out. That I hadn't been expecting. In the six years I had known Lia she'd never really paid much interest in dating. She was too focused on quidditch and studies for that. "Who is it?"

"Trevor Hall, Katherine set us up."

Katherine was Lia's best friend, aside from me. She was a seventh year, like us, but in Hufflepuff. I'd always liked Katherine, she was slightly quiet but mixed well with Lia, who was always loud. But right now all I wanted to do was pummel her with chocolate frogs for setting them up.

"Please promise me you wont scare him away," she looked up with me with pleading eyes and a big smile on her face.

I looked down at Lia and couldn't figure out how I was feeling. Something was building up inside of me and I couldn't describe it. She was looking at me hopefully, expecting an answer. I sighed and placed an arm around her shoulders bringing her towards me, to which she easily leaned into. "Don't worry I wont scare him off."

"Thank you Sirius," she said sounding relieved and finally stopped fidgeting. "Don't worry, I wont forget about you. We'll still have Lia and Sirius time, nothing will change. But you couldn't expect me to stay alone forever and just be your friend, did you?" She said with a giggle.

It was then it hit me. Lia had always been around, she'd never wavered, she was always the most stable thing in my life. With a family that was so rocky, having some stability was a way for me to breathe and get through the hard parts in my life. I realized though that I'd never imagined a life without Lia, a future without her. Every time I'd thought of my future there was Lia smiling at me and staying with me. I don't know why I'd never expected her to move on, find a guy, have a family and slowly forget about me. I always assumed she would be with me. She brought out the best in me, encouraged me to do anything I wanted to do and succeed. She was always on my side, always there for me, I could always count on her. It was then I realized I was in love with her and I couldn't stand to lose her.

Sod it.

"Remus," I said barging into my dormitory with the force of an angered Hippogriff. "Get your tufted werewolf tail over here."

Remus barely glanced over his book before rolling his eyes and ignoring me.

"What do you want Padfoot."

"Well, if you take that tone with me I wont ask for your assistance."

"Fine, I don't really care either way."

"Well if you ask like that, then I'll tell you my problems. One, James threw my favorite quill into the fire after I accidentally checked out Evans. Two, i'm in love with Lia."

With my last statement I expected the earth to stop. I mean, Sirius Black in love with a girl, if I weren't me I would be pretty shocked too. But instead Remus only looked at me lazily once again. Honestly, I thought werewolves were supposed to be aggressive but Remus was just so lazy. Werewolf my arse, more like couch potato.

"Moony, didn't you hear me? I'm in love with Lia."

"Yes, I heard you. I just don't see why you're telling me, or why this should come as a shock."

"I'm not talking about in love with Lia as in friends, I'm talking about let's get hitched and shoot babies out of your money maker type love." No response from Remus, seriously this boy is supposed to be intelligent but he's obviously not grasping the severity of the situation. "Don't you have anything to say?"

"What do you want, Sirius? It's not like this should come as a surprise to anyone. We've all known you've been in love with Lia since day one, we thought you were just in denial up until this point. But you've never had problems getting girls before so just be your normal self, I'm sure she'll come around eventually."

I sighed dramatically as I laid on Remus's bed. He looked uncomfortable and tried to kick me off. "But Lia has never tried anything with me before and she knows who I am so obviously I can't be myself, also she's gotten herself a boyfriend."

"Really? Who is it?"

"Trevor Poop-Face Hall."

"Ah Hufflepuff? I like him, he's a chaser, right?"

"Details don't matter. His middle name is Poop-Face."

"I doubt that's his middle name."

"Shut it Moony. Anyway, I'm enlisting your help."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I need you to help me. I need you to help me get her to see me as more than a friend."

"Sirius, she had a boyfriend. If she's happy I don't want to hurt her, and I'm sure hurting her is the last thing on your mind. Why don't you go put frog spawn in Snape's shoes?"

"When did we get more frog spawn? Never mind, that's besides the point. Remus," I said slowly creeping up on him. "If I don't get myself some Lia loving I will cuddle with you every night." And to prove that I was as serious as my name I threw my arm around Remus and laid down next to him. Remus quickly moved away and fell off the bed, his book falling on his face.

He laid on the ground and sighed in defeat, "fine, I'll give you lessons. We'll call them Gentlemen Lessons, for you to win over the heart of Lia."

"Moony, you're the best. Would it be alright if we still cuddled?"

"No."

Can't win them all.

A/N: I know, another Sirius/OC. I'm horribly predictable aren't I? But I thought this was different because it's from Sirius' POV. So tell me what you think :)


	2. First Day

**Day 1 of Gentlemen Lessons**

Lesson 1: No flatulence

Remus's advice for the day is don't burp or fart in front of Lia. Apparently that's disgusting to women and they only laugh at our flatulence to diffuse awkward situations. I wrote this down furiously in my journal, the journal that was going to keep all my lessons so I could remind myself of what I've learned.

"What if they burp first?" I ask Remus, trying to learn the boundaries of my first lesson.

"When has a girl ever initiated a burping contest, Pads?" Remus asked me in an agitated voice as he looked over at me.

"Well, never, but if the situation ever arises I would like to be fully equipped in my response."

Remus rolled his eyes and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "In the _highly _unlikely event that a girl ever initiates a burping contest you say no. She obviously does not see you as a sexual conquest to begin with if she initiates a burping contest so you're only making matters worse by participating in said competition."

"Well, let's just say hypothetically me and Lia are stranded on an abandoned island together and the only way we will be able to get the villagers from killing us-"

"I thought you said you and Lia were stranded on an abandoned island? How are there villagers on the island?"

I shot Remus a dirty look, how dare he interrupt my hypothetical situation. "And the villagers are about to kill us and the only way we can avoid death is by burping. Do I then have permission to burp in front of Lia."

Remus shot me a look that said 'ask me another sodding question like that and I'll not only stop giving you gentlemen lessons but also turn you into a woman where you're no longer aloud to burp anywhere.'

Instead I turned to my journal and wrote; _do not burp or fart around Lia. Unless on a stranded island with burp thirsty villagers. _"Is that all for the day then?" I asked as I closed my journal and threw it into my dresser drawer next to my favorite shoelaces.

"I think that's all you can handle."

"Great," I said jumping up from my bed. "Because Im starving."

"Try to avoid carbonated beverages," Remus said as he stood up and stuffed his hands in his pockets while following me out of the room.

As we walked down to the Great Hall for lunch I was starting to get worried about the lessons. I've known Lia for six years, if she didn't fancy me then how would I get her to change her mind? I would almost prefer we were complete strangers and that we had to get to know each other, then I could lay on the famous Sirius Black charm and she would be mine.

In the non-controlling sense of 'being mine'.

Lia was sitting next to Peter looking bored as she flipped through a magazine. She reached up and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, allowing me to see her eyebrows furrowed as she absentmindedly chewed on the corner of her lip.

"Sirius," she beamed when she saw me walk in. I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. Lia had to be one of the happiest people I had ever met. Seriously, sun basically shines out of this girl's bum.

"Well hello Lia, you are looking mighty lovely today," I said stopping in front of her and picking up her hand and kissing it.

Lia took her hand back and looked at me quizzically before sighing, "what do you want Sirius?"

Aside from making you my wife and having endless amounts of sex with you on our non-carpeted kitchen floor?

"Nothing."

Lia didn't look convinced, "I swear to Merlin Sirius if you prank me later today I will murder you with my bare hands."

I love how violent she gets.

"Is there any other way to murder a person?"

"Uh, oh I don't know Sirius, maybe with a wand?"

Right. That whole magic thing.

"Are you okay Sirius? You're acting weird. Do you have gas or something?"

"No! I never have gas, I'm gas free. If I was one of those muggle contraptions they call a car I would just need to run on love to work."

Lia rolled her eyes, "gas free? Didn't I just see you and James trying to light your farts on fire yesterday?"

"No," I said defensively. "It was a project for Muggle Studies. Er-how much flatulence would it take to solve world hunger." Lia rolled her eyes and I realized how ridiculous I sounded. I looked towards Remus for help.

"Er-what Sirius really meant is he's trying to solve cancer with flatulence. Apparently the gasses we excrete are very helpful in finding the cure for cancer."

"Is that so?" Lia asked questioningly. What is this! She believes Remus's excuse for solving cancer but not my trying to solve world hunger excuse? Blasphemy! "I've never heard of that before but I guess it could work."

"Are you serious?" I yelled.

Lia smirked, "no, you are."

Merlin, even I'm getting sick of that joke. But it's kind of funny and cute when Lia says it. But that's besides the point. "Do you actually believe Remus over me?"

Lia looks between the two of us, "you're acting really odd Sirius, I'm going to leave before something blows up."

Before I could say anything else she got up from the table and left the Great Hall. I slumped unhappily in my seat and put my face in my hands, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Moony, why is this so hard," I whined.

"Because you've never had to actually wine and dine a girl before. Usually all you do is look at a girl and they'll drop their pants on spot."

I couldn't help but smile fondly, "those are the good times."

"Then why don't you just stick to that?"

"Because I actually _like _Lia, and as much as I would like to get in her pants I want more than that. I sound like such a woman..."

"It's okay Sirius," Remus said patting my hand. "We all have to let our inner vagina out at some point."

"Thanks Moony, well I think I'm actually going to go to Herbology on time for once."

"You, at class, on time?" Remus looks like he's about to have a heart attack. "Wait, aren't you in that class with Lia?"

I shrugged innocently, "she may or may not be there. It's up in the air." Hm, I like rhyming, I may try rhyming for the rest of the day. Don't girls usually like that. The roses are red and violets are blue and all that sappy stuff?

I walked into Herbology five minutes early and I think nearly all the over-acheivers that were already there had a heart attack when I came into the room before class was starting. I walked over by Lia, who was thankfully sitting alone. She looked at me and then looked away and then did a double take when she realized it was me.

"Sirius?" She asked, poking me with her finger. "Is that really you?"

"Why yes it is dearest Lia, I figured I should start buckling down in my studies and what a better way than to start with my favorite subject ever; Herbology."

"You hate Herbology."

"Hate and love is a very thin line, dearest Lia. As is friendship and love." Er, did I really just say that out loud?

Lia shot me a look, "you're acting really odd all day today Sirius. Are you ill or something?"

"I'm healthy as a fiddle," I said not knowing what the hell I was talking about. I decided since words weren't really working for me right now I better try my other approach; the art of seduction. I gave Lia my best 'come hither look' as I backed up against a table. I rested my elbow on the corner of it and slowly sank down, all the while giving her my most seductive smile. I was so wrapped up in seducing Lia that I didn't notice the table shifting and I wound up making the table fall to the ground and something went flying over my head and exploded at Lia's feet. For a moment everything was silent and it looked like no damage was done but then there was an explosion and the plant at Lia's feet exploded covering her in bubotuber pus. Lia's body immediately broke out into hives and blisters as she screamed, trying to get the stuff off her body.

Note to self; don't go anywhere without Remus anymore.

**A/N: Okay, so I know it's been forever since I've updated and i'm terribly terribly terriblly sorry! I hope you liked this chapter! I'll try to get the next one out soon, but I'm concentrating on Thin Ice and Literacy and Longing :/ Please leave your favorite quotes, they make my day :)**


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